In what can only be described as the internet’s latest demonstration of both unfiltered democracy and collective irony, a petition demanding TIME magazine name Charlie Kirk “Person of the Year” has amassed more than 50 million signatures in just under two weeks. That’s right—50 million people (or possibly bots with a taste for culture war theater) have thrown their weight behind the conservative commentator, surpassing the population of Spain, Canada, and most recently discovered exoplanets.

The petition began modestly on Change.org, started by an account named *PatriotMom420*, who described Kirk as “a beacon of hope, a living meme, and the only man brave enough to shout into a campus microphone at 9 a.m.” What was initially brushed off as an ironic stunt has now spiraled into a phenomenon that TIME’s editorial board is apparently “monitoring with cautious horror.”

The surge of signatures is credited largely to online conservative groups, Gen Z contrarians, and people who just wanted to see what would happen if Kirk’s face ended up on the cover of TIME. Within hours, hashtags like **#KirkForTime** and **#PersonOfTheFearlessYear** began trending on X (formerly Twitter), while TikTok teens created remixes of Kirk’s most infamous soundbites set to EDM drops. “I don’t even know who he is,” admitted 17-year-old Maya, “but if 50 million people are in on the joke, I’m not missing out.”

Historically, TIME’s Person of the Year has included names such as Martin Luther King Jr., Mahatma Gandhi, and, once upon a time, You (yes, you, dear reader, in 2006). Now, the magazine faces the reality of having to address a candidate whose greatest public achievement is starting Turning Point USA and posing with half the Republican Party in awkward Instagram photos.

“We respect civic engagement,” said one anonymous TIME editor, “but we didn’t think *this* was what engagement would look like.” Another editor was blunter: “The last time we saw a wave like this was when people tried to name a polar research vessel *Boaty McBoatface*. And honestly, that had more dignity.”

Naturally, the White House weighed in. President Trump, who has frequently bemoaned never being named TIME’s Person of the Year since leaving office, endorsed the petition in a Truth Social post. “CHARLIE KIRK—GREAT GUY, GREAT PATRIOT—NOBODY DESERVES IT MORE (EXCEPT ME, BUT WE’LL LET HIM HAVE THIS ONE).” The statement was followed by several capitalized hashtags including **#KIRK2024**.

Meanwhile, Democrats mocked the effort. Senator Bernie Sanders asked, “Does this mean I can finally get my free bowl of soup for all the petitions people sign about me? No? Okay.” Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez tweeted simply: “This is what happens when people have too much Wi-Fi.”

Observers remain skeptical of the petition’s authenticity. Experts note that online petitions are notoriously easy to game. “It’s highly likely that a good portion of these signatures are duplicates, bots, or Russian pranksters,” said Dr. Eliza Morton, professor of digital culture at NYU. “But that doesn’t make it less hilarious.”

TIME, for its part, has not confirmed whether signatures will influence their choice. “The Person of the Year is chosen based on influence, not popularity contests,” said a spokesperson. “That being said, 50 million people clicking the same button is… a form of influence, albeit not the one we were hoping for.”

Charlie Kirk himself has leaned into the moment, tweeting: “The silent majority isn’t silent anymore. Thank you to the 50 MILLION who believe in America, freedom, and my podcast links in bio.” He then went on a 47-minute livestream to discuss the “historic petition,” during which he mentioned Ronald Reagan nine times, Hunter Biden twelve times, and himself forty-seven times.

Fans have since begun designing mock-up covers of TIME featuring Kirk’s head pasted over iconic Person of the Year covers—one particularly popular edit depicts him sitting cross-legged in Gandhi’s robes with the caption: *The Enlightened Patriot.*

Cultural critics argue that the petition reflects a deeper truth: satire and sincerity are indistinguishable in 2025. “Is it a joke? Is it serious? The line doesn’t exist anymore,” explained media analyst Rachel Chen. “Kirk could actually end up as TIME’s Person of the Year just because the editors can’t tell if the world is pranking them.”

And therein lies the beauty—and terror—of internet democracy. What started as a half-serious petition has grown into a cultural spectacle, one that TIME must either ignore (risking accusations of elitism) or honor (risking the collapse of its last shred of credibility).

With 50 million signatures and counting, some expect the number to balloon past 100 million by November. Kirk supporters are already floating new campaigns, including renaming Mount Rushmore to “Freedom Rock” with Kirk’s face added, and introducing a new national holiday: “Turning Point Day,” celebrated with fireworks, hot dogs, and PowerPoint presentations on the dangers of socialism.

As the momentum builds, TIME magazine’s editors are left with a choice: resist the tide of digital absurdity or embrace it fully, placing Charlie Kirk alongside Gandhi, MLK, and—yes—“You.”

At this point, it may not matter what TIME decides. In the eyes of his supporters, Kirk has already earned the crown. After all, nothing says “Person of the Year” quite like 50 million people deciding, with or without irony, that you belong on the cover of a magazine they haven’t bought in 15 years.

NOTE: This is SATIRE, It’s Not True.